Prison Stories: A story of mercy and forgiveness"Can I have your boots?"
My blood began to boil; I could not believe my own eyes, there he was, in a bunk 20 feet from my own. I saw him every morning when I woke up; it was impossible to avoid him during the day, his voice echoed in my mind as I fell asleep at night. The rage came back with the intensity I felt 6 years before, but there was nothing I could do about it. Worst of all, he didn't even recognize me.
I was obsessed with getting even; everyday my anger grew more intense, as I thoug...
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| Prison Stories: "I now feel really free for once in my life."
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"I now feel really free for the first time in my life."
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When S first came to Alpha, she was angry and highly volatile emotionally, alternating between tears and emotional outbursts, which she struggled to control. Her life is a sad but rather typical story of most women in prison, a story of physical and sexual abuse as a child and as a teenager. Her personal suffering lead to attempts to deaden her pain with drugs and alcohol.
I had just asked my small group: "Do you have a story to tell of what God has done in your life?" S was one of the first to jump in, she asked the group: "Do you remember the evening when I spent almost the whole session in tears?" Another woman replied: "How could we forget, you used up yards of roller towel from the bathroom?"
That evening was a turning point in her life. She reminded the group that the topic that night was; "How does God guide us?" "I was struggling to make a very difficult decision about a relationship which I knew was wrong for me. Once I made the decision to follow God in that decision, I was able to turn without reservation to Jesus as my Lord and Savior."
She went on to describe how her deep-seated anger often turned into violence. She had a reputation among inmates and among staff for being violent and almost uncontrollable. A lot of her time was spent in the segregation unit for violence against other inmates. She was even on the verge of being transferred to a prison in Maine for attacking and injuring two prison officers.
In desperation, she asked God not to let her be sent to Maine and to help her deal with her anger. God answered her prayer and began to work in her life. By the time she came to Alpha it was clear to all of us that God was already at work in her life.
She told us: "Although I still get frustrated and angry, I don't feel the urge to act out and hurt others; Jesus is giving me self-control. Others have noticed it, the staff who never spoke to me except to give orders are now starting to have little conversations with me."
"I feel really free, for the first time in my life."
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